I'd feel him up too!

Stephanie: he’s being tortured? you must intervene.


Lana: HA!..oh how I wish..how I wish
Some lucky female on Ellen got a chance to feel him up...NOW that's' what I'm talking about..she felt his feet,legs,shoulders...I would have gone for the hands to feel ME...or you know felt something else...what stupid people...stupid stupid

Stephanie: he really let someone feel him up? really?! how odd.
it’s exciting, yes, for someone filled with so much love for a person they’ve never met and know nothing about to get a change to meet them, to talk to them and maybe get in a picture or two. But to feel them up? I would have been embarrassed for myself. Seriously. What a strange request. Or offer, if that was the case. How do you even go about asking for something like that?
“um…*giggle*…hi, I’m…*giggle, blush*…Jessica and I was wondering if…*nervous laugh, hiccup, sweating*…if I could feel you up? Maybe feel your shoulders or something? Oh, gosh, I can’t believe I’m really talking to you! I love you so much!”
and if it was an offer by Ellen, how would you even give that away? what words do you use to make it seem normal, like this sort of thing happens all the time?
“now we have a gift for one lucky audience member. I’m going to call your name and that person gets a change to come down here and meet Robert Pattinson, take some pictures and…this is the good part and I’m going to have to cover my ears as soon as I say this…and the lucky winner will get to feel him up!”
he’s not a prop. the whole thing sounds so…odd.

Lana: Yea..ELLEN suggested it..he seemed ok with it..I think it went like this

Ellen: So Rob we are going to let one lucky audience member be blindfolded and try to guess which one of you three is the real Rob

Rob: *Head scratch* I don't think this is a good idea...

Ellen: No, it'll be fine..its just ONE audience member and you'll be in a robe the whole time

Rob: I HAVE TO BE NAKED...*pacing pacing* I can't I CAN'T

Ellen: CALM down, Taylor would do it without a second thought. You will be clothed you and the two other boys will put on robes and she"ll just feel you up...

Rob: "Feel US up" As in she gets to touch me wherever

Ellen: OH FOR THE LOVE OF KITTENS..NO she won't touch you in places that it would be inappropriate to show on daytime television, OK?

Rob: Yea, ok

Kristen: (apparently she was there, don't know for sure) This should be VERY interesting
Yea I don't know how Ellen offered that up...I don't know if that was something they discussed before or if it's something she just threw at him..I think it's something she just threw at him

here's the video:
http://robertpattinsonnews-uk.blogspot.com/2010/05/robert-pattinson-on-ellen-show.html


Stephanie: I could only imagine what Kristen Stewart thinks when shenanigans like that go down. Probably: “Ha! I get that every night. Suckers.”
You know something? I wasn’t too far off base with the announcement that someone got to feel him up. Maybe I should host a daytime talk show? Or, “we” rather; you’d have to join me because we’re witty together. And if that doesn’t pan out maybe I could write for the show? I mean, she’s a comic and all but they need some other…substance, no? Maybe I’ll give it a shot.
And I think I prefer your commentary over what actually went down. I like the nervous Rob, the one who thinks he’ll get shanked walking down the street or while waiting in line for his sandwich order. This new Rob, the one who’s semi-adjusted to the famous life he now leads, the one who just raises his large, block eyebrows and nods in agreement at the suggestion of letting a stranger feel him up on daytime television is not the Rob that drew everyone under his spell. I want insecure. I want nervous. I want incoherent.
Oh, to be 2008 again…

Lana: I bet Kristen does think that, like "you guys are touching him but aren't you curious where his hands have been all night AND day" idiots
You were right on with the commentary...you should do that..I support YOU!
Well you know my commentary is always the best...no no I still think there's a little 2008 and left inside of him...I mean you can still see how SCARED he is by the fact that he still raises his eyebrows and his eyes get all wide, that this is still not comfortable..he'd much rather be next to Kristen UGH!!!
I wish it were 2008..I was NORMAL back than..sheesh I'd even go back to 2009 January before this thing happened with me

Stephanie: I suppose those raised eyebrows let the fear leak out, but it’s still not the same. I need a pick-me-up…


oh, that’s better.

you know, we could get you back to your normal self when you had no idea what Twilight was or who Robert Pattinson was. We can stop taking about him all together, you can delete his pictures from your computers and phone and any RP news/gossip you see you can just pass it up.

It’ll be like our own Twilight/RP rehab.

Lana: UGH TAYLOR....I don't think I can..I can't

Stephanie: now him I wouldn’t mind feeling up. I’d still be embarrassed doing it but I’d savor every moment.
hummina, hummina…

Lana: ha-ha...I have a feeling if WE were to feel this young men up..we would go straight for the jack pot!
Well I would..no idea about you!

Stephanie: oh, of course! who wouldn’t?!
except that girl on Ellen, but that was televised so she had to keep it strictly PG.
I’d request a trou-drop. if I’m going to be humiliated feeling some guy up may as well get the best bang for my buck!

Lana: oh man..you don't request these types of things...you just DO IT..
hehe they'd be so shocked they wouldn't be able to react as quickly....

Stephanie: ok, now I can reply. I was afraid that if your message popped up that I responded they’d be able to see what we were talking about.
all I was going to say was: they many not react quickly about the trou-drop, but their security teams would! you’d have to be quick, QUICK! to not get stun gunned for doing that.

Chris Klein-no longer American Pie

Stephanie: please tell me you’ve watched this?!

http://perezhilton.com/2010-05-17-the-most-awesomely-bad-audition-ever-thank-you-chris-klein

Lana: it's not possible..is this not like one of those funny or die videos?!

Stephanie: no, not funny or die, because I’d be dead. for sure!
I’m not the greatest singer in the world, but I could definitely belt that out way better than he did! why, oh, why would you audition for a role that requires you to sing ever 45 seconds? WHY?!?!?
granted, no one in that movie could really sing – besides Amanda Seyfried somewhat, but can you imagine if he was cast?!

Lana: I can't believe he as an "actor" and obviously I use that term loosely...did this for a serious part...
and WHY oh WHY would you talk about Mandy moore? I mean WTF.. I.Have.No.Words.
He and Katie should get back together and he can be the father of Suri, because realistically who really thinks Tom produced that baby...anyways when Katie and Chris were together they were at their best, their prime...

(www.msnbc.msn.com/id/9961050/)
And if they both insist on hanging around than I think they should be together...
Tom Cruise doesn't NEED anybody but himself and those Scientology freaks of nature.

Stephanie: if he did do this seriously it’s because he’s not relevant in any way possible anymore, not after those American Pie movies, and no one wants him for any movie role.
he would be good as a mute, greasy middle aged actor. I’ll write to his “camp” my suggestion.
if I were Mandy Moore I’d send him hate mail for mentioning my name. she’s not relevant, either, but there’s no need to bring her down to his level.
when Suri was born there was a lot of speculation about whether she was Tom’s or not, remember? I think some tabloid agencies even went so far as to ask Chris and Katie if the baby was in fact Chris’. No joke. I don’t care either way, but I have to agree that if they insist on being in the public eye, whether it be to shop, audition, or prance around stage singing an awful rendition of that Lola song, they should do it together.
you’re going to laugh at me but I kind of don’t hate Tom Cruise. he’s crazy, yes. but I feel bad that everyone thinks he’s crazy and brainwashed by Scientology that I feel like he needs someone in his corner.
I always root for the underdog.

Lana: ha, he is NO longer relevant.
DOUBLE HA, for the Mandy Moore comment and sending him a letter...that would be hilarious
Yea I remember when Suri was born everyone speculated...
Tom Cruise is TOO much and the thing is he doesn't have to be too much..he's made great movies and up until a few years ago he was cool, normal, he was NORMAL.
I don't consider him an underdog because realistically whether or not we like him or support him the fool is going to be rich..rich ...rich...rich. So he can be crazy or he can be normal I don't care....I just prefer him normal to crazy if I have to see him from time to time...

2 4 Taylor, 1 4 Kellan

Lana: I wonder if he was told to look at them in that "hey i want you way" so that all rumors of him playing for the opposite team would leave..or if he is authentically like "look at that"!!!



Stephanie: you pose a good question.
but if you really look at his eyes he’s not really looking at them. compare his stare to that of, say, david beckham and you’ll see a difference. for sure!


Lana:haha, I dunno it looked like he WAS looking...would be so funny if in this picture he's all "damn that girl in short shorts is blocking my view of the game, won't she EVER move"


Stephanie: hahaha!!!it sort of looks like he’s thinking that! I’m tell you…the stare he’s giving off isn’t one of intrigue, it’s definitely more like annoyance and boredom. now, if he were staring at the game with a HUGE SMILE on his face while “not looking at her” that would be different.
but this…very questionable.
p.s.: when I opened my e-mail all I saw in my right viewing pane was ass. thanks (sarcastically).

Lana:i know, thats y this kid makes me wonder....and makes me think I am correct
hahaha, lol sorry

Stephanie: I just hope, for the entire hetero woman population, that he isn’t on the other team.that would be just another example of a waste of good man candy. *sigh*

Lana: i just really really think he is...like really really..like the reason he has no guy friends is because he may be attracted to them and no one wants those photo assumptions to come up, and his dad is all " no way are we gonna loose everything we worked so hard for"

Stephanie: I get your point. but in today’s society being gay may actually work for him. yes, all of the girls that go crazy over him will be disappointed, but that just makes way for the dudes to line up for a slice of Taylor Pie.and just because he may be gay doesn’t mean he’s attracted to all of his guy friends. what if he really is just a loner, and all of the people he connects with are older and more seem to be women? look at hayden pana-whatever her name is. yeah she has friends, but look at who she dates! the guy she’s with now is, like, 54 years her senior!

Lana: nope, being gay won't work for taylor...he's been built as a hearthrob for girls...summit, girls, everyone will lose their "doo-doo" if he comes out..
and i'm not saying every gay male likes his male friends..but because everyone is SOO curious about Taylor..if he brings along a male friend, if he has ANY, than people will automatically assume it's his lover...

Stephanie:but it may work for him. he’s a heartthrob none the less. So summit may see this as an extension of Taylor. He can bring the girls for the abs and he can bring the boys for…well, the same thing actually. these books and movies are a phenomenon with girls everywhere – then it could be a hit with the guys, too.
I think if anyone is spotted with anyone it’s automatically a romantic connection. it even happened with Robert pattinson for a hot minute, with that guy he was buying underwear with, what’s his name…tom sturridge. it happens to everyone!

Lana: yea but Rob isn't the "muscular, guys guy, all man man"..you know..he's been marketed as "sensitive, and blah blah blah" taylor is supposed to be a guys guy and a girls dream...it's like if the Rock OR Vin Diesel were gay, that would be it....

Stephanie: no, rob was never a muscular guy – even though he’s supposed to be for the movies and they tried really hard to make him muscly in the second one. but he’s still a heartthrob. if the Rock came out his career might suffer, but he was a wrestler! he’s supposed to be big and burly! I think if taylor was his career would be fine. no worries.

Lana: I guess we will have to wait and see..if americas new hearthrob teen will come out, stay in, or forever hold his peace...muhahaha

Stephanie: and wait we will. but will we be waiting forever, a la tom cruise?
ahh….
oh, taylor…


Lana: I don't know...eventually somethings gotta give..if he is living this little secret eventually he will want to break free...it happens...it will happen...

Stephanie: why do you want him to be gay so badly?what if he’s just, I don’t know…introverted?

Lana: I don't WANT him to be gay...I'm just saying something is ......off, just a little...no I don't take "introvert" as an explanation....

Stephanie: I think you secretly want him to be gay.but that’s ok. I accept you for who you are. and I’d accept him for being him if he was gay.

DAY 2

Stephanie: his nose doesn’t look as…scrunched from the side. he looks hot from his profile.


Lana: eh...still nope nope nope

Stephanie: what-ev.
you’re a jocob hater anyway. I expected that response.
now this fella looks WAY BETTER with shades. WAY BETTER!!!


Lana:lol, i'm not a jacob hater..i just don't like taylor...the actual person..not the character..though i don't like the character either..
and kellan is getting on my nerves...don't know why

Stephanie: if you say you’re not a Jacob hater I suppose I no choice but to believe you. in my heart, however, I don’t. believe you, that is.
moving on…
I don’t like kellan either, but I think he definitely deserves the shivers when he has his shades on – you can’t see how close his eyes are to each other that way. other than that…ugh.

Lana: haha, o.k. well I have no choice but to respect that.
is that what it is, his eyes? its off..maybe he's too pretty and he knows he's pretty and people tell him he's pretty so now he's just conceited..which is NOT an a attractive trait.

Stephanie: oh, he’s definitely conceited! for sure!!!
and yes, it’s because everyone tells him how hot he is so he’s taking them for their word and running with it. and he tries to be seen, I feel. like everything he does, even jogging with his damn dog, is a chance for some face time.
he’s bordering heidi and spencer territory. rocky waters ahead.
have you never seen how tiny and close his eyes are together?! example:


Lana: his eyes are tiny, yes..I've seen eyes that are MUCH closer together...
I think cause I've already decided that he is too much work that everything about him is unattractive to me
so not heidi and spencer territory...YET..though little by little he's getting there...

Stephanie: I just can’t look at him without his glasses because he’s just so gross.
I think you and I are the only two people on the face of the earth that feel…nothing about him.

Lana:

Oh Mariah!

Stephanie: now this woman needs to go away! she doesn’t even look like she’s going to the event of all events!
more like a wedding to me.

(http://www.osoblog.tv/rexfeatures_1137409ag.jpg)

Lana: I hate Mariah...she's useless...

Stephanie: I know. and I don’t think she’s all there, you know?

Lana: how can you be when your doped up on 20 different types of pills, I mean really..and the worst is the way she dresses...as if she she looks like she did when she insured her legs for a million each..your not there, she'll never be again..I mean at least J.Lo wear clothing appropriately

Stephanie: she does dress horribly, doesn’t she?
like she’s still 27 years old and a size 0.
hmm….
I hope I never never grow up. if I do follow her path I give you permission to slap me silly.

Lana: its bad, its real bad, and she doesn't even know it..she's all butterflies and ladybugs...crazy

Stephanie: I think she does know it but tries really hard to not believe it. why else would she marry a guy that still acts like he’s 16 and dresses like he’s 11?

Lana: the sad thing IS, is that her husband still dresses better for his age than she does for hers...and she married him, most likely, to show the world that she can till get a younger man.

Stephanie: neither one of those people can dress.
AT ALL!!!
ugh…
and if she wanted to show the world that she could still get a younger man she should have married someone else! someone with a career, a fashion sense and a better face!

Lana: he dresses better than she does...if its between him and her I take him on the fashion side...but no one else was desperate enough, like him, to marry her! See she couldn't find someone else..If she got someone with no background in the entertainment industry, basically a loser, than people would have made fun of her even more than they do now.But nick cannon, he has money, he was worked in this industry..he has some clout, yes it is only a little bit, but at least he created something for himself..and that is WHY they are together he needs her for her money and connections she needs him to make her look young.

Stephanie: you’re right. and I really dislike them. A LOT!

From Henry Cavil to Jonathan Tucker

Lana:
Freida Pinto: 'War of the Gods' with Henry Cavill!
Read more: http://justjared.buzznet.com/2010/02/24/freida-pinto-war-of-the-gods-henry-cavill/#ixzz0gaX0TIlN
-with the subject line reading "no no no no no "

Stephanie:
why the no’s? um…and that picture is HOT!
this…not so much:


LANA:
I know I just don't want him to be in a movie with anyone other than me...hmph!
O I know..the dress is interesting...shoes are bad bad bad..like payless shoes from when I was 13 and it was the day of my graduation..however, unfortunately, I bet these cost about $500+ while my pay-less shoes not so much...
I LOVE HENRY...

STEPHANIE:
oh, well, now I understand your reluctance for the filming of this movie.
I, too, think henry cavill is quite handsome and anyone that has the chance to work with him is one lucky person.a person of whom I will forever be highly envious.for sure.
as for Kristen stewart: the dress is ok, didn’t have a problem with it. but the shoes!?!? who the hell picked those? same goes for the pair she wore during her dreadful acceptance speech: chunky, white (!) and totally 90’s. ugh!
but I wasn’t talking about her shoes. did you happen to see the affordable pedicure she privileged herself to before slipping on those black monstrosities?
no?
neither did I.

Lana:
I LOVE HENRY...so jealous..its going to be a love story, I'm sure...ugh...mission: I need to find him as well...now he is a hottie
dude, the girl could care less about pedicures and manicures...if she did get one I would be utterly shocked...but the shoes are not o.k. I repeat the shoes are not o.k.
I'm always curious when there is such an obvious blunder of wardrobe if it was the stylist or the celebrity who made that decision...at least the white ones looked like they came from a designer that would not have their shoes sold at payless...

Stephanie:
so now you’re on a mission to find henry cavill as well as Robert pattinson?
that’s a lot of mission.
I think you need to become one with a pap so you can get all the inside scoop on stars whereabouts.
and she should be worried about pedicures! this is clearly a necessity in her line of work. would you be caught dead in a gorgeous dress and butt ugly shoes with un-pampered feet? if she didn’t want to paint her toes, who cares, but at least get them taken care of!
gross.
in this case I have to blame her stylist for the shoe missteps (no pun intended). If it were up to her she’d go everywhere in jeans and tennis with unwashed hair and a pipe in her pocket.
oh, and I forgot to tell you that ryan gosling was at my sister’s boyfriends restaurant last night.

Lana:
well Rob is number one..but Henry is like one and a half...it would be one of the hardest decisions of my life if I were to have to choose which one I wanted to see first if they were both in Los Angeles...
I DO need to become one with the pap...however, being as I am not a 6 foot, leggy, gorgeous blonde/brunette/redhead it is quite hard to get people to pay attention to you. especially in the entertainment industry...also seeing as how I do not have connections and cannot help the paps out I just don't see them helping ME from the kindness of their heart.
Ok see I thought it was the pure and simple fact that she did not paint her toes..how did you see her toes so close that you decide she NEEDED a pedicure as opposed to it being just something she should have done for the pure and simple fact that she was going out..to a fashion show?
I don't know, sometimes these "celebrities" are like well this is ridiculous you dress me up, put make-up on me and make me act a certain way the least I can do is pick the shoes to wear...you never know..it could be all HER fault but the stylist could do nothing about it..or even worse it could have been a dual collaboration between the two of them where both of them were like "yes, these shoes definitely deserve to go with this outfit" and in that case..I should be a stylist..ugh!
LOVE Ryan Gosling...see you need to become one with your cousin so she can contact you when he is actually there as opposed to her just telling you he was there.

STEPHANIE:
well, I think the chances of them both being at the same place at the same time would be a hell of a chance.
but if you do get that lucky you better have your camera ready! I’m pulling for you.
um, paps don’t need you to be 6 feet tall with blond hair for them to befriend you. but you are at a disadvantage by not having an inside scoop on anyone. and I’m sure one of those guys would love to have you on their arm you just have to find the right one. then we’d be in for sure!!!
no, I didn’t care that Kristen stewart didn’t paint her toes. it’s the... *gag* …lack of care that I was pointing out.
I see where you’re coming from the shoe choice perspective. if someone got to decide what you wore to every event you’d want to have some input, naturally, so shoes are the most logic option. but I agree, if it was a collaborative catastrophe….any one of us could be a stylist.and why am I going to be chummy with my cousin? she didn’t see ryan gosling. my sisters boyfriend did. it’s his restaurant that ryan gosling goes to.

LANA:
With my luck Rob and Henry would be in LA at the same time at two different places opposite and miles and miles away from each other..It's ok I'd figure out a way to get to both of them...or neither one of them..:/
Uh yea you have to be able to offer the paparazzi something, and since I don't have the inside sources to offer them, I'd at least have to be eye candy and in Hollywood being a average sized brunette does not do much for me..oh well
Yea I get it, she doesn't care..I still don't' understand why this surprises people..I'm more surprised when she actually dresses UP for events..
OOOPs, for some reason I thought your cousin saw him..ok so becomes besties with your sister's boyfriend so we can see Ryan...I bet he eats beautifully...like a perfect, southern, gentleman...delish!

Stephanie:
how can one eat beautifully? I must know.
well, when George (my sister’s bf) sees him he always calls her to let her know, but since his work is about 20 minutes from my house I don’t think I’d have enough time to get there before RG leaves.
and she goes to work with him sometimes, you know to hang and stuff, and she’s never seen him. there have been a few people that she’s seen but I can’t remember which ones.
OH! she’s met and actually had full conversations with Jonathan Tucker. that’s something, right?

Lana:
when your a great looking guy chances are you eat beautifully..I wouldn't know from experience seeing as how I am not a great looking guy, nor do I eat beautiful...
who is John Tucker?

Stephanie:
so great looking means = beautiful eating? hmmm….
maybe we should do a study and see if your theory is true.
but I can tell you that everyone I know, including myself, doesn’t eat beautifully – just normally – so maybe we aren’t meant to be with a beautiful eater.
boo.
I had a feeling you wouldn’t know who JT was because when I was told about him I had no clue either. He’s this guy from the movie “The Ruins” with Jenna Malone and from “Texas Chainsaw” with Jessica Biel:




LANA:
OMG I love that guy!!!!!!!!..I have the biggest crush on him..like the biggest he is such a cutie geek nerd guy..but I adore him....
he was in The Virgin Suicides, Hostage with Bruce Willis...if he's there I MUST I MUST be notified

Stephanie:
wow! I didn’t know he registered so high on your list.she’s talked with him a few times about her desire to do makeup and such, and he told her that one he got back from Canada, I want to say, (he’s back now) he’d talk to her about getting her started. I’m not sure if she’s talked to him but I know he goes into the restaurant all the time so she’ll definitely run into him again.
for sure.
and he is way cute, I agree. especially in the ruins. and with that baseball cap.
geeky hot is the best, I think.
yum…

Lana:
OMG....I want to meet him...I think we could be perfect together!!...must do intro..
He does, he's adorkable....and what you just told me makes me like him even more cause that makes a sweet heart...awwwwwwwww

Stephanie:
if you want to catch him you should go to the restaurant. its on the corner of Hollywood at Gower: Alwazir Chicken.
George, my sister’s bf, is the guy that usually takes orders and such. He’s a big guy with dark hair and square glasses. Just tell him you know me and ask if JT has been in recently and if there are other stars that go in regularly. He’ll give you the scoop.
I haven’t even met him but if you do please document! and let him know you and I are both looking to get into the entertainment industry ANY WAY WE CAN!
except for the couch route, of course.

Lana:
I'm not gonna go in there like some crazy stalker chick who is really NOT a stalker chick seeing as how I barely know anything about this dude...
and no way José to the couch way!

Stephanie:
I’m not telling you to be a stalker, for crying out loud! just go in and get info from George on the days he usually comes in. Then if you happen to run into him bump into him or something causal and strike up a convo.
and that’s when you throw our entertainment interests into the mix.
do I have to do this for you?!

Lana:
yea YOU do it!

Stephanie:
I can’t do it! he knows salena! if I get all creepy and ask for a job it may jeopardize her chances!
I was just joking, lana.

Justin and Jessica...yay or nay?

STEPHANIE:
now, this is one girl I really can’t stand. honestly!
from her awfully huge mouth (and no-shaped top lip) and her sour puss face to her wrist slitting acting…ugh. I just don’t like her.


LANA:
I used to like her, I used to think she was all beautiful and amazing..but now she's sort of blah...nothing special..especially in this industry she doesn't stand out...but unfortunately because she isn't ugly she'll always have some sort of job..
especially if she and Justin are together..he'll always be able to help her get something..cause though he is a douche bag of the biggest kind...he is a big player in this industry...

S:no, I never liked her. even when she was on 7th Heaven, when she acted all manly and didn’t wear make-up or do her hair and walked around all day in her basketball jersey, I didn’t like her. not that acting like a man offends me, because it doesn’t, but she wanted to be pretty while acting like that, you know? not going to happen. and I’m honestly over Justin timerblake, too. he hasn’t “aged” well (he’s not 75, I know, but compared to his N’Sync days he’s really…changed. I think his nose has expanded.) and he thinks that just because he can sing and dance he can do anything…especially act, which he definitely can not do. I don’t know, I think his arrogance and entitlement are grounds for dismissal.

L:See I didn't mind her on 7th heaven...thought it was refreshing that she wasn't pounded with make-up...but really though I was 15 so what do I know about refreshing..I was pounding on make-up to cover up my zits..off topic..off topic
Thought she was cute..up until now..now she is TOO skinny...and her head looks too big..and I can forgive the whole big lip thing if she was a talented actress..but she's not..so she's not forgiven for the way she looks now...
I think Justin is still a little hottie..however his hotness diminishes because he thinks he's the poo..and he's definitely not..his poo does not smell like roses.. I don't think he's aged at all..his nose expanded? his nose ALWAYS looked like that...He definitely cannot act, but man oh man did I love him in Alpha Dog..all the tats..yum yum yum..he was funny in that movie..thought that movie wasn't supposed to be funny..but it was it really really was...

http://images.allmoviephoto.com/2007_Alpha_Dog/2007_alpha_dog_010.jpg

S:
ok, to be fair that picture definitely puts him back on the qualifing list. but we have to take into account Justin timberlake as a whole:
1)arrogant
2)horrible actor
3)entitled
4)“too cool for school”
5)hates to be photographed by the paps (but I’d have to agree if I, too, were a celebrity…they’re ruthless)
6)wears nerd glasses that he thinks make him look different and cool – they don’t

(http://cm1.theinsider.com/media/0/410/98/mob-3280441.0.0.0x0.150x150.jpeg)
7)left Janet Jackson out to dry during “Wardrobe Malfunction Gate” – not cool
8)cried to his mom when he was being “Punk’d” by Ashton Kutcher (OMG! that was the best episode e.v.e.r.!)
9)doesn’t like to talk about his N’Sync days – the part of his life that shot him to super stardom!
10)refuses to tie his shoes (you’ll have to look closely)

(http://justjared.buzznet.com/photo-gallery/2428690/justin-timberlake-hudson-terrace-jessica-biel-01/)

L:true, true, true, true, true, true, true, #8. that was the BEST episode of punk'd, everything after ceased to amaze me...that was the BEST., true, don't care
he sucks yes, but I dunno, maybe when he becomes a man he'll be better...we can hope...

S:well, I think he thinks he’s already a man and not the teen-man that he is.
only time will tell…

HAHAH, hehehe, hmmmmmm

Lana:

which one is the tranny and which one is actually brooke hogan...


STEPHANIE:
it’s not hard to tell which is which, but I’m sure a lot of people wouldn’t know.
brook on right, tranny on left.
I kid, I kid!!!
she does look like a man, though. so does her mother, come to think of it.
maybe we should give makeup and hair advice, no?

Why OH Why?

LANA:

so now ted is saying Jessica Simpson and Dane cook are together......i think she just keeps choosing the wrong guys and one of these days she's gonna bust a Brittany...eek!



but this couple would definitely be BETTER than this..gross..look out herpes on the way




but it is a step UP from this creature:


STEPHANIE:
I read that they were spotted out together again, but I wasn’t sure if I believed it or not.
I like dane cook. I really do: he’s funny (to me) and he’s kind of cute – if you don’t look at him for too long, but I just don’t like the two of the together. she’s too clean and “pure” compared to him, you know? not according to john mayer, of course, but whateves.
they never sat right with me, but who am I?
and they are way better, WAY BETTER, than avril and brody! ugh!!! I never ever thought brody was anything to look at – my friends will beg to differ – and he always seemed like such a douche on the show, acting too cool for school. and avril will always and forever be a 15 year old, angst ridden girl who writes songs about her boyfriends and skateboards, and claims that no one understands her because she’s just so different and deep and blah…blah…blah…
never cared for her but I do enjoy some of her songs from time to time, I will not lie.
and who the hell thought of bringing that former girlfriend of brody’s to light? who is she and why does she always look like she’s pinching her nostrils together?

Rob, Bradley, Kristen, Taylor, Renee

LANA:
1. I saw valentines day,

taylor lautner is GAY, and I am afraid he will never come out, like Tom Cruise, and never reveal his true identity.. Once you see this movie it's impossible to think he is a straight man


2. did you see ALL the new eclipse stills??!!

3. Have you seen the Remember Me clips?

4. I still do not think Renee is the cause of Bradley's lack of caring about his make-up issues..he probably doesn't care....


STEPHANIE:
1)I highly doubt I’ll waste my money to see V-Day since I hardly go to the movies to begin with and because I’ve heard, from every nook and cranny, that the movie is just dreadful! And if, in 10 years, it turns out that Taylor Lautner is, in fact, gay…at least I got to see those to die for abs while still believing him to be straight. Oh, and why does Lainey call Tom Cruise, who has to be gay, GMD? Or GDM, whatever it is she uses?
2)I didn’t see a lot of Eclipse stills, only the photos on Perez. Are there more?
3)What Remember Me clips?
4)I blame Rene, for sure. Oh Bridge Jones…
5)Um…did you read that Robert Pattinson hates vagina? Maybe he’s gay and Kristen Stewart is HIS cover. Of course it was just his English humor coming to the page but still, wouldn’t it be funny if all this time you were hating Kristen Stewart because you thought she was his love when in reality you should have hated the guy he was buying underwear with? Haha…

LANA:
1. Because when Tom Cruise came on the scene he was this little heartthrob as well..than he started doing all these action movies, taking his shirt off, and just becoming this weird weird human being, basically the person he is now..I have NO idea what GMD/GDM means
2.Yea THOSE eclipse stills...now it gives me hope that maybe just maybe David Slade did a better job than Chris Weitz, ugh!
3.Just a few clips from the movie..a couple of scenes, the restaurant scene, their dinner at home scene, and the cap ride scene
4.you forgot the TT in Bridget
5.people like you who don't understand anything!...obviously it was his sense of humor..he has the weirdest sense of humor and no one gets it, even me at times, but he says stupid crap like that and the next thing is rob is GAY!

STEPHANIE:
I know your beloved Rob isn’t gay. I was simply saying that if he was gay you would have wasted many, many minutes of your life, many precious breathes to hate on Kristen Stewart for nothing. it would just be funny, is all.
GEEZ LANA!!!
and thanks for catching that Bridge/Bridget misspell. J

LANA:
UGH, since he's not gay and you know it and I know it no point in saying "IF" now is there....don't geez me!
No prob you know I got u covered :P

STEPHANIE:
but it’s fun saying “if”, no?
you know it is.
plus it makes you upset and that, in turn, makes my laugh. J

Ad for Pancreatic Cancer, obviously!

Again, this is what I sent Stephanie:

I also titled the subject NICE!

Stephanie: I’ve seen this guy before in some tv show and in that movie with james from twilight. he’s hot, for sure. but…I don’t know…there’s just something about him that screams... “cheesy”.

Lana:yea the show was "life as we know it"..FUNNIEST show but they took it off the air, like most good shows...the one with james was called "never back down" and I actually never saw that...he does look cheesy but dayum that picture!!!

Taking it from the back?....I hope not

This is what I sent stephanie:



Stephanie: I love the baby picture!!! His kids are just too cute!
And as for the Robert Pattinson picture…he looks like he just took it up the butt.

Lana: WHAT! NO...that's his face face..u know..wink wink

S: no…. it’s his “you just gave it to me and…man am I sore!” face.

L:noooooo..its his " i gave it to you so good...and I'm getting it sooo good" and now I'm exhausted cause it hurts cause we've been giving it SOO good

S: hahahah!!! I hope he really says crap like that after he and Kristen are done “giving it so good to each other”.
bahahahaha!!!!!!
but I do believe his face reads “I have to nurse my sore bum back to life after what you’ve done to me” more than “I’m getting it so good...” blah, blah, blah.

L:no no, you're not reading it correctly...why would he have a sore bum? he doesn't swing that way...nope nope nope!!! I won't believe that because when I went to sleep last night I imagined that face giving it to someone NOT receiving it from someone!!!! oh man, I hope he doesn't receive...

S: you don’t know which way he swings! I’m not wishing him to swing one way or the other…let’s be PC about this…but anything is possible. all I’m saying is that his face does look like he’s in a bit of pain. and that hand caressing his bum is only helping my case.

Rob: The good, the bad, and the ugly..but mostly the GOOD

Stephanie: this is NOT a good look for him!


Lana: LOL, I know..but this is before twilight...and I don't know how else to redeem this picture..I agree this is NOT a good look for him and these pictures should be taken off...

this however IS:






you get the point...we can forgive him for those atrocious pictures and instead focus on his bright and good looking future

S: wow! you really searched for some pictures, didn’t you?!I agree that the pictures below are WAY better than the awful floppy haired picture I have posted.
Man…he better be thanking his lucky stars (or he could thank my background, I suppose) that he got that part because if he hadn’t….well, I think I can clearly say that he would not have looked the way he looks now. no ma’am!!!
My favorite photo is the piano. and the lobster photo – too bad he doesn’t seem to eat much in daily life.
bummer.

L: lol, didn't have to look hard

1. went to Google
2. typed rob, vanity fair
3. picked the best ones
4. VERY EASY :)

If it wasn't for Twilight he sure wouldn't look this good, but if he kept going than he would have eventually been hot, may have taken longer, THANK GOD it hasn't..other wise what would I have put as my wallpaper...I KNOW HENRY :)
I know, I don't know why he doesn't eat....hoping he bulks up, a little bit, just a little bit at least...that way I can at least pretend we can be together since he would be able to lift me up, otherwise I mean its just not even a possibility to be together!

Haley Joel Osment dates, real people!

Lana: http://www.oceanup.com/2010/01/12/kristen-stewart-bafta-rising-star-award
and than
http://www.lifeandstylemag.com/
oh man a buncha stuff:
1. if Michael whatever his last name is IS hooking up with her costar..red carpet is going to be AWKWARD! if they are not red carpet is going to be awkward cause the rumors have already started to spin
2. mai whitman is dating haley osment..i didn't think he dated..oh man..they'll be a foursome...
3. than what couple is better: rob and kristen OR mae and haley
4. THIS IS TOOOOOO MUCH FUN...all this info from one stupid article..LOVE


Stephanie: my response to all below:
1. it’s nice to see you excited over someone other than Robert Pattinson!!! yeah, it’s because it involves Kristen Stewart but still.
2. um…if she was able to move on with her co-star I say go for it, Michael! they were together for a couple of years and she jumps into r.p.’s arms? there can be no hard feelings there. none.
3. why do we care about mae Whitman? I think she’s a good actress, don’t get me wrong, but she’s never on anyone’s radar – except for haley osment I seems – so I don’t understand the interest. but if you’re excited I’m excited. J
4. what couple is better, you ask? Lana Gotlinskaya and Henry Cavil. But if I have to choose a real couple I’d say Reese and Jake. *tear*

L: 1. well now I didn't GO looking for it, it was on twitter..however the attached link was hilarious, at least to me
2. DUDE, duh she ran into R.P.s arms, come one no competition Robert>>>>BETTER than Michael
3. Don't care, however read the life & style article, forgot who mae was and than when I saw who she was and than saw she was with her boyfriend, had to find out..SOOOOOOO did not expect Haley....I'm not excited I think this is HILARIOUS..come one I mean really he dates? really? girls? REALLY...
4. DUH, DUH, DUH..he is delicious..I went online to see who he was supposedly dating and supposedly everyone from Jillian Michaels ( the biggest loser) to his The Tudors costars...eww..no legit finding thought..I definitely NEED to go to London, too many delicious things out there....Reese and Jake, really? Really? I never even registered them on my radar..HOWEVER, after they broke up he started becoming more attractive..I didn't like them together...something was off...

Not great, but better, MUCH MUCH better

Stephanie: UGH!!! he still hasn’t cut that mane!!!

but he looks way hotter in this picture!

Lana: OMG, I had dreams about this picture..absolutely delicious..forget the hair, the hair I can do..you chop it off..easy! But everything else, the eyes, nose, lips, ears, hands, forearms, neck, muscles, EVERYTHING is unbelievable! I could bring him home to mom and she won't refuse him as her future son-in-law even though he isn't Russian/Jewish LOL...MAN, perfect! you are so late on all of this...ugh that's why you can't miss out on work, Stephanie!

S: Of course I’m late on this news - I have been ill, Lana! Way to show some sympathy!!! I do love his face, however.and his eyes.and hands. and everything else you deemed “unbelievable”. and if you were ever able to bring him home to your mother please promise me, PLEASE PROMISE ME, that you’d invite me over for coffee on that blessed day. I’ll even bring some bunt cake to celebrate the occasion.
and my camera to take photographic evidence.

L: LOL! I've already told you I don't do the whole "I'm emotional thing" very well if at all. But on that blessed day, I will invite everyone, and I mean EVERYONE to my house for coffee..you won't even need your camera because every local news stations, every paparazzi within a 100 mile radius, and every gossip columnist will be at my house discussing "what is gorgeous Henry Cavil doing at a local woman's house? She's not even a model!"

S:you have told me you’re heartless, I remember. now, as for this Henry cavil fellow: let’s project onto him the personality of a humble human being, one who looks not at…well, looks, but at the personality and heart of the person he chooses to court. thus, if any hairy paparazzi or callous gossip columnist even suggest spewing the words “what is gorgeous Henry Cavil doing at a local woman's house? She's not even a model” out of their mouths, your chivalrous Henry will gladly and swiftly punch them in the face, defending your honor to the fullest.and if this happens I’ll definitely need my very own camera so I can take up close and extremely personal photos of the day.

L: oh man, NOW that would be an UH-mazing day!
I love Henry, hmmm, I doubt he's not egotistical, but threes something about him where I can see him being a nice human being as opposed to, I don't know a complete douche (Emile Hirsch).
:D
I am not HEARTLESS just sometimes I prefer not to showcase my emotions.