Why OH Why?

LANA:

so now ted is saying Jessica Simpson and Dane cook are together......i think she just keeps choosing the wrong guys and one of these days she's gonna bust a Brittany...eek!



but this couple would definitely be BETTER than this..gross..look out herpes on the way




but it is a step UP from this creature:


STEPHANIE:
I read that they were spotted out together again, but I wasn’t sure if I believed it or not.
I like dane cook. I really do: he’s funny (to me) and he’s kind of cute – if you don’t look at him for too long, but I just don’t like the two of the together. she’s too clean and “pure” compared to him, you know? not according to john mayer, of course, but whateves.
they never sat right with me, but who am I?
and they are way better, WAY BETTER, than avril and brody! ugh!!! I never ever thought brody was anything to look at – my friends will beg to differ – and he always seemed like such a douche on the show, acting too cool for school. and avril will always and forever be a 15 year old, angst ridden girl who writes songs about her boyfriends and skateboards, and claims that no one understands her because she’s just so different and deep and blah…blah…blah…
never cared for her but I do enjoy some of her songs from time to time, I will not lie.
and who the hell thought of bringing that former girlfriend of brody’s to light? who is she and why does she always look like she’s pinching her nostrils together?

Rob, Bradley, Kristen, Taylor, Renee

LANA:
1. I saw valentines day,

taylor lautner is GAY, and I am afraid he will never come out, like Tom Cruise, and never reveal his true identity.. Once you see this movie it's impossible to think he is a straight man


2. did you see ALL the new eclipse stills??!!

3. Have you seen the Remember Me clips?

4. I still do not think Renee is the cause of Bradley's lack of caring about his make-up issues..he probably doesn't care....


STEPHANIE:
1)I highly doubt I’ll waste my money to see V-Day since I hardly go to the movies to begin with and because I’ve heard, from every nook and cranny, that the movie is just dreadful! And if, in 10 years, it turns out that Taylor Lautner is, in fact, gay…at least I got to see those to die for abs while still believing him to be straight. Oh, and why does Lainey call Tom Cruise, who has to be gay, GMD? Or GDM, whatever it is she uses?
2)I didn’t see a lot of Eclipse stills, only the photos on Perez. Are there more?
3)What Remember Me clips?
4)I blame Rene, for sure. Oh Bridge Jones…
5)Um…did you read that Robert Pattinson hates vagina? Maybe he’s gay and Kristen Stewart is HIS cover. Of course it was just his English humor coming to the page but still, wouldn’t it be funny if all this time you were hating Kristen Stewart because you thought she was his love when in reality you should have hated the guy he was buying underwear with? Haha…

LANA:
1. Because when Tom Cruise came on the scene he was this little heartthrob as well..than he started doing all these action movies, taking his shirt off, and just becoming this weird weird human being, basically the person he is now..I have NO idea what GMD/GDM means
2.Yea THOSE eclipse stills...now it gives me hope that maybe just maybe David Slade did a better job than Chris Weitz, ugh!
3.Just a few clips from the movie..a couple of scenes, the restaurant scene, their dinner at home scene, and the cap ride scene
4.you forgot the TT in Bridget
5.people like you who don't understand anything!...obviously it was his sense of humor..he has the weirdest sense of humor and no one gets it, even me at times, but he says stupid crap like that and the next thing is rob is GAY!

STEPHANIE:
I know your beloved Rob isn’t gay. I was simply saying that if he was gay you would have wasted many, many minutes of your life, many precious breathes to hate on Kristen Stewart for nothing. it would just be funny, is all.
GEEZ LANA!!!
and thanks for catching that Bridge/Bridget misspell. J

LANA:
UGH, since he's not gay and you know it and I know it no point in saying "IF" now is there....don't geez me!
No prob you know I got u covered :P

STEPHANIE:
but it’s fun saying “if”, no?
you know it is.
plus it makes you upset and that, in turn, makes my laugh. J

Ad for Pancreatic Cancer, obviously!

Again, this is what I sent Stephanie:

I also titled the subject NICE!

Stephanie: I’ve seen this guy before in some tv show and in that movie with james from twilight. he’s hot, for sure. but…I don’t know…there’s just something about him that screams... “cheesy”.

Lana:yea the show was "life as we know it"..FUNNIEST show but they took it off the air, like most good shows...the one with james was called "never back down" and I actually never saw that...he does look cheesy but dayum that picture!!!

Taking it from the back?....I hope not

This is what I sent stephanie:



Stephanie: I love the baby picture!!! His kids are just too cute!
And as for the Robert Pattinson picture…he looks like he just took it up the butt.

Lana: WHAT! NO...that's his face face..u know..wink wink

S: no…. it’s his “you just gave it to me and…man am I sore!” face.

L:noooooo..its his " i gave it to you so good...and I'm getting it sooo good" and now I'm exhausted cause it hurts cause we've been giving it SOO good

S: hahahah!!! I hope he really says crap like that after he and Kristen are done “giving it so good to each other”.
bahahahaha!!!!!!
but I do believe his face reads “I have to nurse my sore bum back to life after what you’ve done to me” more than “I’m getting it so good...” blah, blah, blah.

L:no no, you're not reading it correctly...why would he have a sore bum? he doesn't swing that way...nope nope nope!!! I won't believe that because when I went to sleep last night I imagined that face giving it to someone NOT receiving it from someone!!!! oh man, I hope he doesn't receive...

S: you don’t know which way he swings! I’m not wishing him to swing one way or the other…let’s be PC about this…but anything is possible. all I’m saying is that his face does look like he’s in a bit of pain. and that hand caressing his bum is only helping my case.

Rob: The good, the bad, and the ugly..but mostly the GOOD

Stephanie: this is NOT a good look for him!


Lana: LOL, I know..but this is before twilight...and I don't know how else to redeem this picture..I agree this is NOT a good look for him and these pictures should be taken off...

this however IS:






you get the point...we can forgive him for those atrocious pictures and instead focus on his bright and good looking future

S: wow! you really searched for some pictures, didn’t you?!I agree that the pictures below are WAY better than the awful floppy haired picture I have posted.
Man…he better be thanking his lucky stars (or he could thank my background, I suppose) that he got that part because if he hadn’t….well, I think I can clearly say that he would not have looked the way he looks now. no ma’am!!!
My favorite photo is the piano. and the lobster photo – too bad he doesn’t seem to eat much in daily life.
bummer.

L: lol, didn't have to look hard

1. went to Google
2. typed rob, vanity fair
3. picked the best ones
4. VERY EASY :)

If it wasn't for Twilight he sure wouldn't look this good, but if he kept going than he would have eventually been hot, may have taken longer, THANK GOD it hasn't..other wise what would I have put as my wallpaper...I KNOW HENRY :)
I know, I don't know why he doesn't eat....hoping he bulks up, a little bit, just a little bit at least...that way I can at least pretend we can be together since he would be able to lift me up, otherwise I mean its just not even a possibility to be together!

Haley Joel Osment dates, real people!

Lana: http://www.oceanup.com/2010/01/12/kristen-stewart-bafta-rising-star-award
and than
http://www.lifeandstylemag.com/
oh man a buncha stuff:
1. if Michael whatever his last name is IS hooking up with her costar..red carpet is going to be AWKWARD! if they are not red carpet is going to be awkward cause the rumors have already started to spin
2. mai whitman is dating haley osment..i didn't think he dated..oh man..they'll be a foursome...
3. than what couple is better: rob and kristen OR mae and haley
4. THIS IS TOOOOOO MUCH FUN...all this info from one stupid article..LOVE


Stephanie: my response to all below:
1. it’s nice to see you excited over someone other than Robert Pattinson!!! yeah, it’s because it involves Kristen Stewart but still.
2. um…if she was able to move on with her co-star I say go for it, Michael! they were together for a couple of years and she jumps into r.p.’s arms? there can be no hard feelings there. none.
3. why do we care about mae Whitman? I think she’s a good actress, don’t get me wrong, but she’s never on anyone’s radar – except for haley osment I seems – so I don’t understand the interest. but if you’re excited I’m excited. J
4. what couple is better, you ask? Lana Gotlinskaya and Henry Cavil. But if I have to choose a real couple I’d say Reese and Jake. *tear*

L: 1. well now I didn't GO looking for it, it was on twitter..however the attached link was hilarious, at least to me
2. DUDE, duh she ran into R.P.s arms, come one no competition Robert>>>>BETTER than Michael
3. Don't care, however read the life & style article, forgot who mae was and than when I saw who she was and than saw she was with her boyfriend, had to find out..SOOOOOOO did not expect Haley....I'm not excited I think this is HILARIOUS..come one I mean really he dates? really? girls? REALLY...
4. DUH, DUH, DUH..he is delicious..I went online to see who he was supposedly dating and supposedly everyone from Jillian Michaels ( the biggest loser) to his The Tudors costars...eww..no legit finding thought..I definitely NEED to go to London, too many delicious things out there....Reese and Jake, really? Really? I never even registered them on my radar..HOWEVER, after they broke up he started becoming more attractive..I didn't like them together...something was off...

Not great, but better, MUCH MUCH better

Stephanie: UGH!!! he still hasn’t cut that mane!!!

but he looks way hotter in this picture!

Lana: OMG, I had dreams about this picture..absolutely delicious..forget the hair, the hair I can do..you chop it off..easy! But everything else, the eyes, nose, lips, ears, hands, forearms, neck, muscles, EVERYTHING is unbelievable! I could bring him home to mom and she won't refuse him as her future son-in-law even though he isn't Russian/Jewish LOL...MAN, perfect! you are so late on all of this...ugh that's why you can't miss out on work, Stephanie!

S: Of course I’m late on this news - I have been ill, Lana! Way to show some sympathy!!! I do love his face, however.and his eyes.and hands. and everything else you deemed “unbelievable”. and if you were ever able to bring him home to your mother please promise me, PLEASE PROMISE ME, that you’d invite me over for coffee on that blessed day. I’ll even bring some bunt cake to celebrate the occasion.
and my camera to take photographic evidence.

L: LOL! I've already told you I don't do the whole "I'm emotional thing" very well if at all. But on that blessed day, I will invite everyone, and I mean EVERYONE to my house for coffee..you won't even need your camera because every local news stations, every paparazzi within a 100 mile radius, and every gossip columnist will be at my house discussing "what is gorgeous Henry Cavil doing at a local woman's house? She's not even a model!"

S:you have told me you’re heartless, I remember. now, as for this Henry cavil fellow: let’s project onto him the personality of a humble human being, one who looks not at…well, looks, but at the personality and heart of the person he chooses to court. thus, if any hairy paparazzi or callous gossip columnist even suggest spewing the words “what is gorgeous Henry Cavil doing at a local woman's house? She's not even a model” out of their mouths, your chivalrous Henry will gladly and swiftly punch them in the face, defending your honor to the fullest.and if this happens I’ll definitely need my very own camera so I can take up close and extremely personal photos of the day.

L: oh man, NOW that would be an UH-mazing day!
I love Henry, hmmm, I doubt he's not egotistical, but threes something about him where I can see him being a nice human being as opposed to, I don't know a complete douche (Emile Hirsch).
:D
I am not HEARTLESS just sometimes I prefer not to showcase my emotions.